10 August 2014

Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover

Social network like Facebook has been making great impact in my life, as I've been able to get in touch with lots of friends. Even though I'm no in KL physically, I can more or less tell that my friends are doing pretty well back home, or perhaps somewhere else in the region.

Some events such as graduation, getting a job, or even getting married (pretty common for mid-20s) are kinda common. Once in awhile, there's always element of surprise pops out.

As years gone by, I am quite surprised to see that some of these friends that I used to looked down, are doing very well right now. My judgement back then, was flawed.

Now, I can't help but to question myself over the perception I had towards these particular friends.

Part of the story can be traced back in my secondary school times.

SMJK Chong Hwa

I wasn’t the kind of student that scores great results academically, but my involvement in various clubs & organizations made me a familiar figure among the school admins & teachers. I wouldn't say I was a pet student, but perhaps close to being one.

Being in that position somehow made me slightly arrogant towards some others. I would tend to judge those trouble-makers as nuisance, and those who didn’t did well in the exam as pitiful ones and on extreme cases, hopeless. Because of that, I had conflict with some friends as I would tend to write them off with the “no-good” label. Elitism and arrogance is indeed, dangerous traits for a young man.


However, today I’m thankful that even though we had troubles in the past, we managed to patch things up and remain as friends (albeit on Facebook). It's interesting to listen to their post-school stories and laughed at myself for my foolishness back then.

The lesson of the day, is never ever judge someone too fast based on their current position (especially during school days), as one may take years to be defined or break through. The "bad" boys may one day be a successful businessman, and on the opposite side, a student with stellar results may not end up in a desired position (perhaps stressed out due to studying too much?).

Here in Japan, I've came across with lots of different people as well. Again, the bad attitude did kicked in initially, but as I been through various phases, I think my attitude has improved gradually.

Now, I reserve my first impression towards someone that I've get to know recently, and take a little bit of time to evaluate this particular person. Am trying not to jump into conclusion that quickly and give it some time. It's interesting that based on my own observation, people would change depending on whom they're interacting with.

Here, I'd like to quote a Chinese idiom: "路遥知马力,日久见人心".
It carries the meaning, "one will only know the horse's stamina as the route goes further; one will know someone's heart as day passes."

Admitting that I'm not a perfect individual, I'm trying my best now to patch up the flaws. Right now, I enjoy getting to know other people in depth and trying to appreciate those few that some sort of "connects" together, for it's getting harder to find real friends at this age. :\

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