Phew.... finally done with my final exam today. Had been shutting myself out for sometime already.
Anyway, am glad that finally the first ever semester in the university is over!!
Do allow me to rant out a little here, wanna write things out once and for all.
Now that I've get a hold on how the university works within a semester, I roughly can figure out the rest 7 semesters that I'll be going through before I graduate hah. So far this sem went through quite well, to be honest it wasn't as difficult as I thought, still within acceptable range. It's not such that I'm stressed out with the courseworks and exams.
Fortunately for me, I just have to take the mid-term exam and the final exam. Occasionally might need to hand out a report or two, no big deal. It's all depending on the subject and the lecturer as each of them have their own ways of carry out the lesson. So-called university freedom huh.
Lecturers play a huge part in tertiary education. Although in such level students aren't supposed to rely too much on them, but students learn nothing if the lecturer couldn't conduct the lesson effectively.
Saying this, I'm a little grumpy over certain lecturers. Somewhat I noticed that now I'm easily get annoyed with it because I thought that I've paid for the fees and I'd expect a decent lecturer that could conduct the class effectively and I can learn something out of it.
One of the lecturer, although he may seems to be some sort of handicapped, but I don't see that as an excuse that he couldn't perform his job well. I'm being harsh here, but sometimes sympathy should be replaced with realistic. As for the lecturers I had problem with, on their survey reviews I didn't gave much glowing feedbacks.
Anyway, to look things from a bigger perspective, I had fairly great time with the other lecturers. They're experienced in the fields they're teaching, makes learning session with them more interesting and easier to understand from the perspective of a professional.
For example, we have a music therapist, music-industry journalist, music director etc. teaching us respective subjects.
It's just the first semester and I've met with many great lecturers. This makes me looking forward for the semesters to come..... meeting with the great people.
I'm pretty much content with the campus life I think. Though it's not really big (many times smaller than TARC!) but well, all the blocks fit in just nice. If this university campus was to be based in Tokyo, it'll be much smaller for sure.
The media centre, where I had a few lectures here and do my reading here too.
The canteen's food was OK, everything seems to work well with my tastebud. Besides it cost cheaper than eating outside so I don't really have much complaints here. Good thing I'm not a picky eater. :P
On another note, life is not just about university. Personal life-wise, it has been a roller coaster ride.
I take this opportunity to reflect back on things that had happened in past few months.... Obvious I noticed is that my mentally had changed much within this period, ever since I came here in March. Lots of thoughts I've gone through from time to time.
I couldn't say whether it's a positive change or a negative ones, but surely, I'm thinking quite differently than I was before. More complicated my mind has became.
Some of the random thoughts that bugged me, including the urge of moving out from the hostel (which is likely but not that soon); scholarship thingy; social circle etc. . Sometimes, to have a complicated mind isn't a good thing, coz it makes you worry more stuffs.
Part of the reasons would be environmental pressure. I've been pretty protective of my own right now, because living outside here alone without friends made me feel that what I did and decide is totally up to my own responsibility and there aren't any people around to help me out with it. Thinking of this, I began to treat myself like robot to follow orders, what should do and what's not.
Another thing that bugged me this sem, and likely for the rest of the years here would be the social factor. Although there're 2 other Malaysians students same course with me here, but seems like I'm having a little trouble to get along well with them.
Perhaps it's bad timing and bad combination, that they step into my life in such a matter that I can't really accept and digest it in such short period of time just yet. I'd say that their mentality is sort of clashed with mine, so makes it a little tense up sometimes.
I'm also surprised that myself who won't get angry easily would erupt by just a few lines of words. Normally it's just a small joke but I can get offended from it.
For example, everyone had different perspective and view on money. If you don't feel like spending the money, don't you force others to limit their spending to suit your desire. Money, if it's spent wisely, in return can be beneficial. Also, it's up to whether the thing is necessary or unnecessary or not.
Like for me, now I'm eyeing on iPhone 4 and I'll be getting it eventually. Someone commented that it's a waste of money but because the person didn't realised how useful an iPhone meant to me.
But from these events, I learn that we cannot just hand over the judgement for a person too fast because of simple matters. Somehow there must be unknown reasons behind contributing of what makes them the person they are today. As long as I'm not directly or indirectly involved, else I'd try to ignore those words that I dislike to listen. Try to learn how to accept things that I dislike.
As a good friend advised me, be myself, not to get influenced easily by others' words and actions. Stay close to my own thoughts and mind. I am what I am, someone has to be.
If there's any doubts or fears, just speak it out.
I now realised that perhaps why I'm feeling down these while is because I don't have a proper channel to let all these flow out. Just a reminder for others, if you're having thoughts bugging in your mind, try to let it out instead of accumulate it until you succumb to the pressure and the dam burst.
A controlled leak from time to time is better than a sudden burst that could cripple you down, can't do anything at all.
OK I guess I'm calling it a day now. Enough for my rants for now. Am glad that the semester is finally over and now I can rest and enjoy life well, as I deserve it. :)
Summer holiday had started, and it started with a good note so far.
2 more weeks to go and by this moment I should be in KL already!! :D