20 December 2006

Worth readings

A brief summary of 99% of the people you will ever meet in school or college.
* Be warned, this is a long post, but it's worth to finish it. :)

Intellectual Superhero

Intellectual Superhero is neither an intellectual nor a superhero, but don’t tell him that! The Intellectual Superhero is easily identified by his complete inability to allow a class period to pass by without asking at least 654 questions designed to show how "witty" and "clever" he is. He will attempt to prove the professor wrong in every class with his inane bullshit, regardless of the fact that the professor has a doctorate in the field. If it’s a science course, the Intellectual Superhero will attempt to solve every problem using an alternate method, which is always incorrect. But don’t worry; he’ll still manage to waste 20 minutes of your life with his insane method of solving the problem. At least you’ll get to laugh at him when the professor proves him wrong.
Note: Definitely Prof Goh CM from S2. LOL

45 Year Old College Student with Two Kids
The 45 Year Old College Student with Two Kids is one of the more interesting personas found in the college classroom. This subject has returned to school in an attempt to better her life, which is a great endeavor. However, there are a few things about this person that will make you want to punch her in the face by the end of the semester. The 45-year-old college student with two kids must write down every word the professor says. This will cause the class to be peppered with calls of "can you repeat that" approximately every 0.23 seconds. Second, she must ask the most obvious questions, preferably ones the professor has already answered. Here’s an example:


Professor: So, in 1776 the Declaration of Independence was written.
Old student: Okay, let me make sure I’m writing this down correctly. The Declaration of Independence was written in 1776, right?
Professor: 30 seconds of blank stare followed by: Yes.

If you are lucky enough to be in a small class where participation is required, you’ll be treated to such delights as "Well I have two kids and I think that [insert obvious statement here]" or "Ever since I’ve had my two kids, [insert fragmented sentence here]." As an added bonus, you’ll get to hear about all of her life experiences as a parole officer and about her last 5 marriages that ended in divorce.
Note: No such person in my school, yet.

Stupid Ugly Fat Girl
Stupid Ugly Fat Girl feels the need to enter into every single class discussion, completely disregarding the fact that she has nothing of substance to add to the conversation. Stupid Ugly Fat Girl cannot construct a sentence without using the words "like" and "um" at least 12 times for every 2 other words. She always wears clothes that are too tight, and seems partial to gaudy rhinestone shirts with incredibly original phrases such as "Princess" strewn across the front of her sagging cow tits. The only way to actually learn something in a class with the Stupid Ugly Fat Girl is to distract her attention with a shiny object.
Note: 2 girls in the school, one for a schoolmate and one for a teacher. Though this fact only apply on their physical appearance, not their mentality.

Johnny Frat Boy - or - Sally Sorority Chick
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with being in a Greek organization, some people take their involvement in these groups a little too seriously. These are the people who can’t go 2 consecutive days without wearing their shirts from some drinking party they went to last weekend. Johnny Frat Boy likes to brag about how many beers he slammed down on Tuesday night, while Sally Sorority Chick acts as though she is too immaculate to be tarnished by your presence. In either case you shouldn’t worry about these two personality types too much because they only associate with each other. This brings me to another point: when you see these people outside of class, it is perfectly acceptable to run them over with your motor vehicle of choice.
Note: Hmm.... a tough one. A person who speaks something he/she only interested, 'eh?

Study Nazi
Study Nazi is in school for one reason: to get good grades. Unfortunately for Study Nazi, he’s not that bright and he struggles with his classes. That doesn’t stop him from letting everyone know how long he studied for that 5 question quiz though. Study Nazi, much like the Intellectual Superhero, will ask questions constantly during class. However, the Intellectual Superhero has some grasp of the material. Study Nazi, while he can quote his books and his notes verbatim, has no idea what any of it means. Under no circumstances should you approach Study Nazi outside of class. Doing so will only remind him that he’s losing valuable time that he could be using in the library and you might get hurt in his frenzied dash to get there as quickly as possible.
Note: Some librarian friends I knew, say, Ivan?

Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer
Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer has nothing better to do than study. While the average of the rest of the class is a respectable 45%, Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer has approximately a 1351% in the course, thereby totally destroying any chance you had of passing the class. Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer can be identified by the fact that he will be in the library before you get there and stay far after you've left. He will almost certainly wear the same clothing throughout the entire course, and, while he may be human, it's more likely that he's some kind of magic robot.

Note: A German girl, Nina used to study in my school for 1 year. Unfortunately she's only active in sports but not in the studies. Always sleep in class though.

Fucking Disgusting Computer Science Major
Fucking Disgusting Computer Science Major is the reason that you don’t want to go to class. He bathes roughly once every leap year and wears the same "totally awesome" Japanese video game (the import version was so much better) shirt for half a semester at a time. No matter how far away you get from him, the stench seems to travel across the room and assault your nostrils. Fucking Disgusting Computer Science Major has no time for the English language, and he will often ask questions that make little to no sense and lack any sort of "grammatical structure." He’s the only character that can actually give Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer a run for his money on the intellectual scale, but that’s only because he was probably born with knowledge of linear algebra and differential equations.
Note: Someone who's addicted to games, well lots of them in the school, better dont name them.

Agenda Assailer
The Agenda Assailer has (surprise!) an agenda to push on everyone else. If you’re in, say, a science class you’ll get to hear about how the scientist who discovered some principle was a racist or misogynist and therefore his scholarly work is somehow meaningless. Even though the rest of the class is just there to learn, the Agenda Assailer will attempt to turn every class into a political debate. Here’s an example from a history class:


Professor: Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence.
AA: How can you even SAY that?!?!?!?! He owned slaves!!!
Professor: Well, yes. But he still wrote it.
AA: Well then he’s a hypocrite and we should THROW OUT the Declaration of Independence!!!

Note: Nobody in the school cares bout History, so no debate on this.

The Anime Freak
Anime Freak is somewhat of a rarity outside of computer science and/or Japanese courses. However, you still might encounter one in some humanities cores. The Anime Freak will always be wearing button down shirts with a dragon or some kind of Dragonball Z character on it. Also, anything with Japanese writing on it is always cool in the eyes of Anime Freak, even if it makes absolutely no sense. Do not approach the Anime Freak outside of class, unless you want to run into a situation like this:


You: Hey, what’s up?
AF: I think episode 185 of [insert horribly obscure anime show here] is the best because they use the Power of the Light to slay the dragon beast and save the world from total destruction!!!
You: Um… I have to go.

Note: Anime freak huh.... Those friends are still "normal" though.

Major Elitist
No, he’s not in the military! Ha ha! All blatantly bad jokes aside, the Major Elitist is generally some type of science or engineering major who looks down on anyone who might even think about getting a humanities or business degree. After all, we all know that the only thing that’s important is science. All that other mamby-pansy bullshit like "History" or "English" or "the world economy" is just a bunch of feel-good rhetorical nonsense anyway. Besides, any jackass can get a liberal arts degree!
Note: Arrogant dude? Thankfully this type of person doesnt exist in my school.

Non-Conformist Conformist
The Non-Conformist Conformist is an interesting species. While he tries to "fight the man," he is unable to do so without conforming to another group. The Non-Conformist Conformist can be easily identified by his Rage Against the Machine or Che Guevara t-shirt and dark green corduroy pants. During the winter he will be wearing a military field coat from Germany with a patch on the side, and he often carries a wallet on a chain. You can identify him in the classroom because he’ll feel the need to share with the class his opinions of pop culture. He’ll use a condescending tone of voice because he’s better than little sheeple like you. That’s all right though because whether it be the punk, goth, or any other subculture, the Non-Conformist Conformist declares boldly, "I choose to not fit in by fitting in with a DIFFERENT group!"
Note: I guess a group of people in my class falls into this category. They like to live in their own world and less communicate with other people in the class. Another guy, Lee KS my classmate.

Fashion Monger
Fashion Monger is on the bleeding edge of fashion! While having some nice clothes is something everyone should invest in, Fashion Monger’s entire wardrobe has been purchased from stores so hip that you've never even heard of them. Apparently, it’s "hip" and "with it" to pay 500 dollars for jeans that were hand stitched by the hardworking people of Taiwan. And, as we all know, 50 dollars for a silk-screened t-shirt is a completely reasonable price, as long as it was designed by an gay Italian man. Yes, nothing says, "I have too much money and not enough common sense" quite like buying clothes with fancy designer labels that are marked up 1000%!
Note: Cant really decide this, because in school everyone have to wear the same uniform everyday.

The Skimmer
The skimmer is easy to identify. He always sits in the back of lecture halls and is usually asleep 10 minutes into class. It is not uncommon to hear The Skimmer brag about how much studying he didn't do for that quiz coming up. The Skimmer is not usually found in higher level courses.
Note: Hmm.... when I was in F3, there's a guy who sits in the front but do nothing other than sleep in the class.

The Sociable Slacker
This is the guy who went out of his way to talk to you on the first day. Was really personable, seems like a normal, social person. He even suggested trading phone numbers just in case you needed help. Fast forward to the second week of class - he's not there. Same goes for all the classes until right before the midterm when you get a call. "Hey man, what's up? How's it going? Oh yeah, I missed the last class can I borrow all your notes and photocopy them? Yeah, we should go grab a beer one day." No show again until the final where he calls you up again asking for notes. And that beer? A complete fabrication.
Note: Classmate Vincent is half of this category. He's the social guy in the class and fortunately he's good enough to settle his studies well. :P

CEO Junior the Third
Born to wealth and privilege and toting an ego the size of Australia, CEO Jr. III will rarely be encountered outside of econ, business and business-related courses (like the lower level computer sciences). Much like the Fashion Monger, CJ3 is fascinated by brand names and drops them wherever possible. However, instead of dropping "real" designer names, he'll brag about the cheap shit he bought from Abercrombie last week. Success is what he's aiming for, and he'll probably get there, but only through his dad’s business connections. Like the Study Nazi, he is not particularly bright, though his particular mode of achieving good grades consists of stroking the professor's ego with appropriate questions and office hours schmoozing. Like the Sociable Slacker he is unfailingly cheerful, but his cheeriness, much like everything else about him, is completely insincere. He is astoundingly successful at getting laid for reasons which are at present unknown to science. It's probably best to avoid crossing him in social circumstances since he can wield his people skills like a weapon.
Note: Rich guy 'eh? Lim MH from my class maybe can be considered one of them, but no matter what this guy's very friendly indeed, a simple person after all.

A completely unremarkable student in every way, THE PHANTOM shows up for classes, does the work, and... that's it. You will never see THE PHANTOM outside of class - Existing on his sheepishness and fueled by his silence, even if you live next door to THE PHANTOM you'll never hear a word of him.
Note: Some top students in the school, possibly girls.

Idiot Savant
This student will never sit in the same place twice, though he may gravitate towards one section of the hall or another. He never takes notes, often appears to be sleeping or daydreaming, doesn't ask questions, and is overall unremarkable except for his absolute apathy and seeming retardedness. The striking feature of this individual is that if you ever find out his grades they are top of the class, often leaving his professor and classmates confused.
Note: Same as THE PHANTOM above.

The Wanna Be Computer Geek
They can be found in groups often discussing old internet fads while downloading songs and files from P2P networks. Often annoying to the people around them. Will shout out "LOL INTERNETS" at random times and you can hear some old techno songs in the background.
Note: Perhaps, myself falls under this category? :P

The Conversationist
You'll find this one at the back of the class, and they tend to travel in herds. She spends all semester having conversations with the people around her, that have absolutely nothing to do with the class, usually pertaining to her boyfriend, a movie she just saw, or a party she was at/plans to attend. Completely ignorant of the people around her who are actually trying to pay attention to the lecture in a typically difficult subject. Another common trait of The Conversationist is her apparent lack of any sort of school supplies (including pens, pencils, paper, and the freaking textbook) Sociologists have theorized that this is a subconcsious ploy designed to draw more people into The Conversationalist's tangled web of distraction.
Note: Some jackasses in the tuition class, back in year 2004. Enrage teachers as well.

Deer in Headlights Chick

Normally, she's quiet. She's so quiet she'll duck down when the professor looks to ask questions. The second she's called on to give a speech, her entire body tenses up. Very rarely will a word escape her mouth that's not "Uhhh" or "Like". She's known for freezing up for periods of greater than one minute during in-class presentations, much to everyone else's amusement.
Note: Not only girls, boys also have this problem too. Some of my classmates fall under this type.

The Wannabe Premeds

Usually egged on by their Asian parents, these wanna-be doctors are an unhealthy combination of the pre-med, the study nazi and major elitist. They make sure to publicly broadcast their disappointment at a 93% final. They refuse to help others lest it might bring up the class average. They will immerse themselves wholly in everything to do with science and medicine and scoff at everyone not planning to go on to med school. They take on extracurriculars just for the sake of having something to put on their resumes, but they don't really give a crap about hospital patients or homeless people.

They watch Scrubs and House and ER and 3 lbs religiously. To make up for their relative lack of natural talent at school, they'll resort to studying feverishly for long hours in the library and will ostracize anyone who dares whispers in the library while simultaneously moaning to their similar premed friends how hard it is to identify the innominate in a rat.

Not surprisingly, this breed doesn't socialize very well, but it might be in your interests to associate with them now because in 10 years they'll be operating on your brain.
Note: Again, Prof Goh CM falls under this category. LOL!

The Sniper

This is the kid, usually a male, who sits in the back of the class and will constantly spout out smart ass remarks at the professor in an attempt to act like he really doesn't really care for the class and thinks he is super cool cause he can be so disrespectful in class. But this guy is important cause when the class starts dragging and getting boring, he can usually lighten the mood. Annoying and funny at the same time.
Note: It's me again. Love to snipe Mdm Haniza or Mdm Tan SL while in the class.

Quiet Smart Slacker

Normally found in one of the back rows but not the very back as he is trying to blend in. Doesn't say much in class, only being social when he has to or with people he knows outside of class. Won't disrupt class but if called on will answer correctly. Pays attention, but doesn't always do work, or work hard. Shows up to class 80% of the time, but does 40% of the outside work/study time. Graduates in 5-6 years with a 3.0 but only because of intelligence and test scores, not effort (as shown in number of years taken to graduate).
Note: Another me. :D

The Converter
This guy or gal is a shining beacon of thier Religion, and will attempt to bring it to light every chance they get, and attempt to get you to believe in whatever it is they believe. Anytime your classes mention faith, she is the first to preach to the entire class, and say that her deity is what everyone needs to follow.
Note: In the school students arent allow to discuss bout religious issue openly so....

The Computer Dummy
Cannot use a computer or any technology to save thier life. This person will rely on you to help them type up reports, assignments, or use excel/powerpoint/access for projects. Will also become dazzled if they see you playing any kind of video game or watching a DVD in your dorm, and will want to learn more about it.
Note: Unfortunately some schoolmates are still this type of person, get out from the stone age!!

The Apathetic Genius

The apathetic genius is the pinnacle of wasted potential. He shows up to most of his classes, and is minorly sociable. He is involved in class discussions but will never write a single page of notes, never does any extra credit or optional assignments, and never even reads the textbook or studies. Despite this he will consistantly get A's and B's in every class he takes, all while exerting no apparent effort. This person probably has the ability to cure cancer some day, but years of being unchallenged and socially shunned will lead him to drop out after his first or second year.
Note: It'll be great if in the school have people like this, but unfortunately things doesnt go as what we think of.

The Study'n'Party hard dude
This is the dude that takes notes and pay attention in class,
he may or may not look geeky, but in the weekends this is the guy that
comes knocking on your door, with free booze and wants to join the party.
normally a great guy.
Note: Chiam SH, aka Horse from S2, definitely fits in!

The Dude Who Knows Fucking EVERYONE
Everywhere you go, this guy knows somebody he has to high five and chat with for a little bit. He probably grew up in the area, has an outgoing personality, and is involved in a wide variety of activities that breach many social circles. Generally liked, although he may be too outgoing for some people. Generally doesn't have a lot of close friends, but makes up for it in sheer volume. This is the guy to talk to if you're interested in a new hobby, want to join a club, or just want to meet new people. May do incredibly outrageous things to get even more attention.
Note: Then again, Vincent fits in this type of person. Hahah....


This is the person that will get absolutely pouty when they made a 96%, despite the fact that its an A and that they probably fucked up the curve for all the dumbasses in the class. Will ask the professor for extra credit and receive an odd look when the prof looks at the grade book to find out that this person has the highest grade in the class already. This person cannot understand how they missed that question, even though it was multiple choice and they marked A when the answer was E. Will not attend study sessions or socialize with you in class because, trust me, you are just not fucking good enough, even though you will inevitably get the same letter grade/GPA as them.
Note: Once again, Prof Goh CM!! Btw some top students did the same thing as well huh...

I guess that's all, still have lots of facts in that forum post, a great post indeed!! So.... what is your trait then? ;)

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