Last night I was pretty exhausted after a day's work, and went into a deep slumber.
I still can remember last night's dream vividly, and it's kinda funny to see myself back into the school to study....
Was donned in the school uniform just like it before, and I don't felt awkward about it although I've graduated few years already.
My father fetch me to the school's entrance and I was thinking, what am I doing here? Is this real or what? I put my doubt aside and step into the school.
I had no idea why am I doing so, but surely I remember I'm stuck in the classroom doing my Chinese subject homework, but can't remember conducted by which teacher, is it 祝老师?
Soon the scenario changed, and I'm still in the school uniform, but went to another different school. I like having some sort of errand at the school to pass some documents to the teacher there. Those students in the class looked at me as if I'm some unusual person though.
If I remember correctly, I'm passing down the document related to National Service?
I can only remember pretty much until that when I wake up at 10am today.
I noticed that most of my dreams are taken place in somewhere I'm familiar with but with altered geographical, locational & structural features. I know I'm in the classroom but that doesn't looks like the one I'm sitting in real life.
The places found in my dream do exist in reality but it looks totally different in the dream.
Dreaming is a process where your brain cleans the clotting memory in the brain, flashing back past experience in an alternative method.
So what's the significance of me dreaming about my school? I guess things happening lately pretty much mixed up my mind with school, college & university stuffs.
Perhaps I dream of this because of I missed the school life? Maybe so, but given my current state of circumstance, I cannot let my past experience to haunt my planning for the future.
If I don't let go the past, I cannot embrace the future.
It may be cruel to myself, but if I don't detach myself from everything happenin' here, I would struggle in the foreign place.
That's why I'm kinda struggling when in NS, although compare to the foreign country it's relatively closer to home.
Leaving the home is a tough decision to make, but I've experience it before.
I was being sent to a motivational camp when I was 12 years old, first time to left the house for awhile but it was just briefly 3 days.
Later when I'm 16 years old I went to Taiwan for a study trip for 21 days/3 weeks and I find no problem of leaving home for such a long time. It is because it feels more like a vacation tour rather than a real study trip, as we spent most of the time travelling on the road.
The last time I left home and live alone for some time is the NS period, where I spend close to 2 months staying in Sabah. I can't say it's bad, but at least I still can get back to somewhere I'm familiar with.
So.... next April, I'm going to Japan for at least a year. I'm not sure whether I'm coming back before university starts, maybe I'll be working there? If I were to work there my chances of coming back is pretty slim.
I appreciate it if I can get back here one or two weeks during the break, and also if I can afford the air ticket.
Japan is a land of promises, and going there I know I'm at the right place to further expand my own "empire" hahah.
As what it related to my dream, studying in Japan is one of my dreams, and it's realising soon!